How to practice self care during grief-a look at sleep.
Sleep is one of the most restorative, stabilizing things that you have in your arsenal in terms of recovering from grief. Now, I've seen people go on one of two extremes when it comes to sleep. Some people just sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep, and their body just seems to shut down and we want to safeguard against that. But the more common occurrence is that many people report having trouble sleeping after they've lost someone that they've love. Now, if sleep deprivation goes on for too long, it actually compounds all the other effects of grief, so sleep is very important to the healing process. While we can't completely always control our ability to sleep, there are so many ways that we can help support positive sleep experiences, so that you can put your best foot forward to restore everything else that's going on in your mind and body.
Here are six tips to help you help you fall asleep.
The first thing is to have a structured schedule as much as possible. Wake up the same time every day, and go to bed at the same time every day. Not only does this help with promoting sleep, but this actually helps in restoring balance in your thinking and to just overcoming grief in general. One of the main things that's really disruptive when it comes to grief it is that you feel so out of control. Having a structured schedule can help you feel back in control and promote a positive sleep experience.
Keep your bedroom for sleeping only. Don't eat in your bed, don't watch TV in your bed, try to remind yourself and have your mind associate your bed and your bedroom with sleep. As silly as it sounds, it actually does help your mind to calm down and be prepared for sleep.
Do not watch TV or use electronics right before going to sleep. That actually stimulates brain activity and can be counterproductive for falling asleep. Turn off the TV and all other electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime, that will help quite a bit.
Try stretching or doing some yoga before going to bed. That will relax your nervous system and will help promote sleep.
Take a warm shower or bath.
Try a natural supplement like a sleep support tea, melatonin, or lavender.
So what happens though, if you have no problem falling asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night?
Here are some tips and suggestions for what you can do to get back to sleep.
Don't turn on a lot of lights. Certainly don't turn on electronics. Don't fall into the temptation to reach for your phone or iPad. Those are going to be counterproductive for helping you to go back to sleep. Turn on as few lights as possible. Keep your room dark and a place again, that's just associated with sleep.
Count backwards from 100, and don't just count backwards, but close your eyes and picture the number that you're saying in your head. Now if you can't picture the number that you're saying, then you have to start back over at 100. It sounds like a simple exercise, but it actually takes a lot of concentration and it it pulls your mind away from whatever thoughts you're thinking. This exercise gives it something else to focus on, to tire it out so that you can fall asleep.
Listen to classical music. Instead of listening to the overall song, really focus on one instrument that you're hearing. That exercises your brain and takes an immense amount of focus. It will help you to steer away from whatever thoughts or worries are keeping you up and it's going to tire your brain out and let you get back to sleep.
I just want to reiterate that sleep is so important. If you're going extended periods of time experiencing some form of insomnia or not getting adequate sleep at night, I really encourage you to reach out to your doctor to find out what other resources they may have for you.
Here’s to a restful night and your journey back to a peaceful and joy filled life!
Onward in Love,
Kelli