Some days you gotta call on account of rain.....

Last Friday was not a good day. There is no way around it. Nothing particularly bad happened that day, I just woke up with a heaviness that weighed on me like a heavy blanket. I don’t know if the rainy weather invited this heaviness or if I brought it to the party and the weather was just the backdrop to my mood. I found myself thinking about, and missing my mom and son desperately. What I would do to be able to speak to either of them. To hug them one more time. I was tired. Tired of feeling tired. Tired of fighting off the sadness.

That morning I wanted to give up. I asked myself, “why are you doing this? why put your pain on public display? why share on a public platform that makes room for people’s comments and remarks around such a personal topic? How can you possibly help anyone when you are feeling overwhelmed?” It was in that instant that I knew why I was qualified……it was because I was feeling overwhelmed, because I wanted to give up and knew that I wouldn’t. I have experienced my share of rainy days and have found the keys to not staying stuck in that place. In that moment I realized my current feeling of sadness would not last forever and if I would take good care of myself that day and allow my body the time and space to feel the sadness without succumbing to it, I knew relief was on the way. I was right. I spent the day Friday feeling the pain of loss, remembering them and crying about their absence in my life. The day was healing. It was restful and cleansing. It was necessary. Instead of trying to suppress or deny the aching of my soul, I leaned into it and let it have room for expression.

The next day I woke up feeling that a weight had been lifted. Remembering that the pain is temporary is a huge key for moving through it swiftly. Thinking that you will never feel better will only make room for that feeling to stay longer than you’d like. Just knowing that it will lift and things will get better helps to lift that heavy feeling and move you in the direction of joy. So the next time you find yourself feeling down, don’t deny it, don’t hide it, but remember that it doesn’t last forever and expect that things will shift soon…..chances are you will find that they do!

Onward in Love,

Kelli